Conclusion

Hubby requested a post documenting his main Father's Day present and G's description of him from Sunbeams (church) yesterday. Since I am nothing if not compliant (hey, where is all that mysterious laughter coming from...?) I thought I would oblige. 

First, I can't find the actual paper G's teacher filled out for him in Sunbeams but I'll give you the highlights. Apparently G thinks his dad is 43 years old, 12 feet tall, and weighs 35 pounds. His favorite show is Dancing With the Stars and he loves spaghetti. He also said that something special they do together is painting their fingernails. Hmmm. Really makes you wonder what happens when I'm not around, huh?

And this:

Was his Father's Day present. He wore it to his Mom's house and she laughed so hard we thought she might have an accident. I would call that a success, wouldn't you?

Happy Father's Day Honey!

The great Twist-Up incident of '08

This last Father's Day story is an oldie but a goodie. We like to call it, "The great Twist-Up incident of '08."

You need to know two things by way of background for this story. First, G has an amazing memory; it's almost spooky at times. And second, he also has the most amazing ability to milk any food item for as long as humanly possible. We have to set time limits on his meals just so that we can get anything done. 

One day Hubby and I came home from the store with some generic Sprite (Twist-Up) as an ingredient for a recipe I was trying out. G asked if he could have some for lunch. Usually we don't let him drink soda, but I agreed and poured him half of one of his little cups (maybe 8 oz. total). After about half an hour he was still milking his lunch and it was getting to be past his naptime. I told him that he needed to go to the potty and then he needed to take a nap.

"I want to finish my soda, Mom." he said. 

I found his cup on the counter, but it was empty. "Look honey," I said, "it's all gone. Go to the potty."

"You drank my drink." he accused.

Offended, I replied, "I did not drink your drink. You must have had it and forgotten. Go to the potty."

At this point G was getting pretty mad. He was convinced that someone had stolen the rest of his drink, plus I was forcing him to go to the bathroom. He turned to Hubby, "YOU stole my drink!" he accused.

"No one stole your drink. Go to the bathroom." Hubby replied.

He stormed off down the hall, only to march back and (alternating hands on hips and pointing at us) bark, "You drank my drink. You and you. You drank my drink."

Now I was starting to get mad. Maybe it's petty, but one thing I really can't stand is being accused of something that I haven't done. "We did not drink your drink." I said. "You drank it and forgot. Stop blaming us for something we didn't do. Go to the potty."

He marched off again only to turn around and repeat the same scene--hands on hips, pointing and accusing. 

Hubby then intervened, "G! NO ONE DRANK YOUR DRINK. GO TO THE BATHROOM RIGHT NOW!!"

G turned and stomped down the hall to the bathroom. 

I turned to Hubby. "What the heck?" I said. 

"I drank it." he replied. 

"WHAT?" I asked shocked.

"There was only a teeny bit left and he was taking forever, so I drank it." he said. 

We both started laughing uncontrollably. "You are a liar that LIES!" I choked out amidst our fit of laughter. 

Of course, old eagle ears must have heard because he came running out of the bathroom, shouting and pointing at me saying, "YOU DRANK IT, IT WAS YOU!" 

"IT WAS YOUR FATHER!" I managed, as we rolled on the couch. 

Indignant, G demanded an apology and Hubby finally provided one. 

Lesson learned? Drink your Twist-Up fast when Hubby is around. Oh, and don't swipe G's food and think he won't notice. He will. 

On EVERYONE'S clothes!

My sister and her husband reminded me of a really funny story last night that involved hubby and our baby. I thought it was another perfect Father's Day post. 

I love baby E. He is such a sweetheart and adds so much to our family. However, he has been a major trial in terms of sleep deprivation. He woke up every 1.5 to 2 hours for the first 6 months of his life. Even now, we have him down to 4 hour increments and we are thrilled. 

One mid-morning when E was about 2 or 3 months old, hubby had gotten him to fall asleep on his chest and decided that they would take a little nap together on the downstairs couch. Since we were both so sleep starved, G and I stayed upstairs to allow them some quiet and rest. About 10 minutes later, I hear hubby stomping up the stairs and into the baby's room. I went in to investigate and found him completely frustrated, changing E's diaper and clothes. 

"What happened?" I said.

"E pooped all over EVERYONE'S clothes." he angrily replied.  

Slightly panicked and confused, I asked, "Everyone's clothes? How did he poop all over everyone's clothes?"

"He had a blow out and pooped everywhere and it got on everyone's clothes!" he responded frustratedly.

I was still confused. How had this happened? Had he placed the baby in a laundry basket full of clothes and then he pooped? Last I saw, he was laying on Hubby's chest. Are we going to have to buy new wardrobes for everyone? 

So I asked, "Did you have him laying in a full laundry basket? How did the poop get on everyone's clothes?"

Now annoyed with my confusion, hubby barks, "NO. He was not laying in the LAUNDRY BASKET. He was laying on my chest!"

Uh oh, he's getting more and more mad as I question him. But I don't understand how this happened. How did poop get on everyone's clothes?

I took a breath and said as calmly as I could, "Honey, I know you are frustrated but I am really confused right now. How did poop get on everyone's clothes. What clothes did they get on?"

"He pooped on my shirt and on his clothes." he angrily gestured. 

"And..."

"And that's all." 

Wait, what? "So he just pooped on you and him." I summarized. 

Hubby, now starting to understand my confusion responded, "Well, yeah. But it was EVERYONE that was there." 

We both started laughing. 

"Stinkin' kid." he said, rolling his eyes.  

Dad--according to G

For today's Father's Day post, I asked G some questions about his Dad. Some of the answers were spot on, though most were completely inaccurate and funny. Enjoy!!

What is something your dad always says to you?

G: Play basketball. 

What makes your dad happy?

G: If I say sorry to him.                                                                           

What makes your dad sad?

G: If I don’t say sorry. If I don’t listen to him I’ll get in trouble.

How does your dad make you laugh?

G: By doing peek-a-boo.

What did your dad like to do when he was a child?

G: He liked to ride his trike. And when he was a grown up he liked to ride a bike. His bike got stolen and his trike got broke so he had to throw it in the garbage. He also liked to crawl when he was little.

How old is your dad?

G: 3-70

How tall is your dad?

G: This big. (an armspan)

What is his favorite thing to do?

G: Play with me in my bedroom and play with my toys.

What does your dad do when you're not around?

G: Try to find me. So does mom.

If your dad becomes famous, what will it be for?

G: For turning into a girl with a pink shirt on. (What the HECK? That might actually make him a little famous.)

What is your dad really good at?

G: Playing basketball at Grandma’s house with me.

What is your dad not very good at?

G: At playing basketball when the basket is high. He might have to get a ladder.

What does your dad do for his job?

G: Fix things with me. He works at the hospital. He helps people.

What is your dad's favorite food?

G: Popsicles.

What makes you proud of your Dad?

G: That he will fix things with me and say good job.

If your dad were a cartoon character, who would he be?

G: Sponge Bob

What do you and your dad do together?

G: Play basketball by ourselves. Plant the plants and fix the lights.

How are you and your dad the same?

G: By putting on matching outfits. We’re both young.

How are you and your dad different?

G: My hair is yellow but it’s turning brown like his. (I don’t think he really got this question.)

How do you know your dad loves you?

G: He gives me hugs and kisses and a heart cookie with M&M’s.

What does your dad like most about your mom?

G: That I am so pretty and cool.                                                                            

Where is your dad's favorite place to go?

G: To go eat at the chicken and fish restaurant.                                                                            

A haiku for Hubs

Man. This blogging everyday thing is tough. Remember 3rd grade? Yeah I don't really either, but I do remember writing haiku.

Hubby. So handsome.

You are my favorite guy.

So glad we're married.

Dad and boys

We have a family of boys so far and I love it! It would be nice to have a girl someday, but it seems a little scary--like uncharted territory. G keeps talking about his sister who is going to be in my tummy so that I don't have to be lonely. It's pretty funny to hear him talk about our family and add in, "and my sister..." It wasn't quite as funny, however, when I came in all dressed up for my dissertation and he patted my tummy saying it was big and a baby lived in there. Anyway, I digress. We did a little photo shoot yesterday, and in honor of Dad, here are a couple of cute father/son pictures.

This was toward the end. As you can see, both boys were thrilled about having their photos taken at this point.

E loves to move! He is so hard to get to hold still.

Adrenaline junkie. 

"Dad--no! Don't stop me from eating the flowers!"

Overlooking the city.

A friend of my sister's found this great little grouping of trees to take pictures. We decided to try it out yesterday. It was really hard because we were trying to take family ones, so I would set the timer and then run over. We did this (what seemed like) over and over again until it started raining. As we were looking through, we didn't get very many good ones. Almost all had some sort of positioning problems etc. That wasn't all though, we started to notice that G was also making a weird face or doing a weird pose in EVERY SINGLE ONE! AGGGHHHH! I was so disappointed. We just had to laugh and shake our heads. That little booger.

Don't worry, I'm already planning our next trip.

Love you honey! You are a great dad! (Oh, and I'm pretty sure he gets that from you!)

How does this thing work?

Since Father's Day is Sunday, I'm going to try to post something every day for hubs. Today is one of my favorite stories from when we were engaged. 

We set the date of our wedding for 2 weeks after the semester ended at school. Since we were getting married in a different state (where my parents live and I grew up) this meant that my Mom basically did everything for our wedding and I just ok'd things long distance. Thanks Mom! We decided that we needed to visit for a few days to do some things that needed to be accomplished in person (like getting a marriage license--you know little things). 

The night before we left, hubs said that he would like to get some money out of the bank. See, he is a local boy with a local bank. If we went to another state, he could use his credit cards but he wouldn't have access to his bank account. Unfortunately, he got out of work after the bank had closed. 

"I feel like I should have some cash," he said, "but the bank is closed and I can't get any money."

"Well," I said, "let's just use the ATM."

He admitted that he had never used the ATM. He always drove up to the window and talked to the tellers. I was horrified! What a time suck! I assured him that I would help him use the ATM, and we happily headed over to the bank. As we drove up to the ATM, hubby rolled down his window, and then we sat. He looked at the machine for a second, then looked at me and said, "Well, what do I do?"

I laughed and said, "Get out your card."

"What card?"

"Your bank card."

"I don't have one."

"You have to have a bank card. They always give you bank cards to use the ATM."

After considering for a couple of minutes he responded,"Hmm. I do think they did send me a card in the mail."

"Ok, so where is it?"

"Oh, I just put it in my filing cabinet at home."

At this point I started laughing hysterically. "How did you expect to get money?" I asked. 

"Isn't there some kind of code I could punch in?" He responded. 

I continued to laugh (you see, unlike the public library, I am glad that the bank is a little strict about handing out my money). 

At this point, having realized he would not be getting his money, he started goofing around yelling at the machine, "Hello, I would like some money. Please give it to me."

We still laugh about it to this day. 

And he has stopped filing his card in the filing cabinet. 

Hallelujah!

I passed my dissertation defense so...

it

is

OVER!

Hallelujah!

Time to stencil "Dr." onto my mailbox.  

30 things we like about our Dad

Hubby turned 30 a while ago. We kept it pretty low-key (i.e. didn't do much). Then I started to feel really bad when I noticed that other people were celebrating this milestone with big bashes, big presents, etc. So I thought for Father's Day, we would write 30 things that we love about our Dad. Done and done. 

1. He is kind.

2. He makes us laugh in unexpected ways.

3. He's always willing to eat out.

4. He never gets mad at me for spending money. 

5. He has a big crush on me (I know because I read his diary--not really, it's just pretty obvious).

6. His crinkly eyes when he smiles.

7. We usually feel the same way about movies. 

8. He can fix almost anything. 

9. He almost never gets mad, and almost never at me. 

10. He will always help with the kids, even if it's 3 am and he has to work at 6 or it's freezing outside and they want to get in the pool.

11. He never complains if I haven't cleaned the house or made dinner. He doesn't really think it's my job!

12. He has supported me through and paid for 2 graduate degrees and has never once complained about the fact that I probably won't use them. 

13. He thinks he's athletic. 

14. He actually listens to things that I say. He'll come back to me later and tell me how he has been thinking about something I've said. 

15. He's really tall.

16. He has funny opinions on other women. For example, he thinks that Nicole Kidman is weird looking! Ha! I think he's nuts, but it's kind of nice to not have to compete with people like that.

17. I think he loves Costco almost as much as me. 

18. He told me that he would hire me as his secretary when he goes into practice. 

19. He likes hanging out with my family. 

20. He teaches our kids how to do things by taking them along on errands and chores. They'll shovel the walk, work in the garden, etc. 

G & E both wanted to post 5 each to round out the 30. G dictated his to me, I had to read E's mind grapes for his. 

G's list:

21. "I like him because he's cool."

22. "I like it when he eats dinner with me and has treats with me."

23. "I like to share breakfast."

24. "I love him so much."

25. "He helps me do fun things like play with my toys."

E's list:

26. Dad always holds me when he's home to give Mom a break. It's awesome, I dive for his arms when I see him because I think he's so great!

27. Dad will do more fun things than Mom, like let me eat the bubbles in the bath or throw me in the air. 

28. Dad will always change my diapers if Mom asks. 

29. I sleep better for Dad than Mom. He puts me to bed in my crib and comes in and pats me if I wake up. He also checks on me a million times a night for Mom. 

30. Dad always takes me with him everywhere at church so Mom can do her job. He lets me eat his shoelaces and his bag. Mmm, shoelaces. 

We love you honey! Let Father's Day week begin!

My enemy the public library...part II

Despite my title to this post, I actually love the library. I'm a regular--I even have my summer reading program t-shirt to prove it. It seems, however, that I always end up having some sort of problem there. 

Take today, for instance. We stopped by the library because I had a movie on hold. I turned in one of my previous DVD's, found my hold and went to check it out. Now you all may remember from this post that I have my library card number memorized, so I always use the self check-out and almost never use or even bring my card. Today was no different, we'd been out as a family and I hadn't brought a purse along. 

After I typed in my card and pin number, a red flashing message appeared. I was informed that I was barred from checking out books and needed to speak to the circulation desk. 

BARRED! 

I was shocked! Maybe my loud talking in the cookbook section (where I had been shushed the week before) was catching up to me. I went up to the librarians at the circulation desk and asked them about the message. 

Me: "I just received a message that I am BARRED from checking out books. Am I blacklisted or something, and if so, why?

Librarian (L): "Oh, it can say that for a number of reasons. Your card probably expired or you might have forgotten to return the actual disk when you brought back a DVD."

Me: "Oh. Well, I did recently return DVD's. Can you tell me what it is?"

L: "Sure, can I see your card."

Yes, you guessed it, we had this conversation AGAIN. I must admit that since I saw it coming I was a little less sassy, but only a little. I was informed that without my card they could not possibly tell me the reason for my being barred from checking out books and that I would have to return either with my card or picture ID. (What is this, the airport? I'm not trying to smuggle an explosive devise into the country, I just want to check out Marley and Me.) I left feeling totally frustrated at the prospect of two more trips (one to find out what I needed to return and one to actually return it and pick up my hold). 

Once home we turned the house upside down looking for a missing library DVD. After about 20 minutes I figured I had nothing to lose by calling the library and asking again if they would look up my account. What transpired next was nothing short of ridiculous. 

Me: "Yeah, I was just there and received the notice that I was barred from checking out books. I know my card isn't expired (I'll save the complete idiocy of that for another post.) I have turned my house upside down looking for a lost DVD but don't see one. Could you tell me what the problem with my account is?"

L: "Sure, what is your account number?"

WHAT? WHAT? So you will not tell me in person when I recite my number to you, but it is perfectly acceptable to give information over the phone to a random voice who knows my card number?? WHAT THE HECK?

L: (After looking up the number) "Oh, it looks like there was a note on your account telling us to tell you not to leave post-it notes in the books when you return them."

Me: (Laughing incredulously) "Seriously? I was barred from checking out books because there were post-it's left in the books when they were turned in? I didn't even put those post-it's in there. They were there when I checked the book out and I didn't bother removing them."

L: "Oh. Well I'll remove the message and you will be fine to check stuff out."

Me: "Thanks?!"

I relayed the message to my equally incredulous hubby. I still can't believe how ridiculous I think this whole encounter was. The only thing we could say was, "This is one for the blog."

Sneaking suspicion

I have a sneaking suspicion my family thinks that my dissertation is boring. Yes, I was shocked as well. 

Yesterday while riding in the car, I asked G if he would like to hear about it. He said he would. So I proceeded to tell him all about the constructs of hostility, social support, and belonging. I explained their relationships to physical health and other psychological health outcomes. After about 10 minutes, G asked, "Mom, are you talking to me?" I explained I was, and he gave me a, "Ok, I guess," look. We got to the store, did some shopping, and got back into the car, where I asked if he would like to hear more. He responded ,"Sure Mom." So I proceeded to explain cardiovascular reactivity. I noticed pretty quickly, however, that he was talking over me. 

"Hey Bud, are you listening," I asked.

"Yeah Mom, I'm just talking to E too." 

"Oh, are you telling him what I'm telling you?"

"Nope."

Hmmm. Me thinks he is not listening. I can't imagine why. At this point, Hubby (who is bored out of his mind) starts laughing his head off. I did not think it was quite as funny. 

"Do you still want to hear?" I ask. 

"Oh yeah, Mom." G says. 

So I decide to liven things up by starting my hypotheses. Halfway through, G asks, 

"Hey Mom, will you turn up the radio?"

Hubby just about melted down with glee. (The traitor.) 

"Something tells me he doesn't care. I think I am this family's white noise machine." I said. 

Hubby didn't deny it. He just patted my leg and told me they loved me anyway. To which I responded, 

"My third hypothesis was...."

In a side note, if you are someone who prays, will you pray for me that I can finish this thing and that it will end positively with me passing and graduating? I could really use the help. And if I do fail, you'll all still like me, right? Right? Nevermind about the failing part because you are all going to pray. Done and done. 

All by myself...don't want to be

Ever since E was born, G has been waking up once or twice a night due to "loneliness." At first we felt so sorry for him. I mean, the poor kid had just lost supremacy as the major recipient of attention, hugs and kisses, etc. So we happily snuggled him and laid by him, indulging his need for some extra mom and dad time. 

8 months later, the sympathy wells have all but dried up. E has been a horrible sleeper. Seriously. If this kid wakes up twice a night it's a miracle (that's not counting his 11:30 feeding since we usually stay awake for that one). You can only take so little sleep for so long, and when you are waking up every two hours with one child, adding in a second child waking up is like the final signature on your asylum commitment papers. (Seriously, do you think they would let me sleep a little there?)  

Enter the solution. We were talking with some friends and they said that their older daughter is just like G. She always wants someone with her and feels "lonely." They said that having their two oldest share a room actually helped a lot. 

So we asked G what he thought, if sharing a room would help. He was all for it. At first he was very disappointed to hear that E wouldn't actually be snuggling in bed with him, but he was still happy about squeezing into the same room. So with trepidation, we moved them into the same room, and guess what? It is working so far. E is still waking up 2-4 times a night and it makes me cringe every time, but G is totally cool with it. Most of the time he doesn't even wake up!? I asked him how he liked the arrangement and he said, "It's good. When I wake up it's ok because E is there." Who knew a squiggly little baby close by could be so comforting?

So there you have it, one room sitting empty with the other full of beds and boys. Whatever floats your boat.